"Why do people like candyfloss? It's like eating a wig."

This sparked a memory in my old brain. I remember when I was 15, I bleached my hair. Now, I had to use conditioner in it every day or else it went mad. Hair all over the place like a sea anenome with tourettes. Anyway one day while I was at my Grandparents, I ran out of conditioner and my hair was insane. To combat this, I used my Grandmothers hairspray. What seemed like a really good idea fell flat due to a) The fact that I had no idea how to use hairspray, and b) This hairspray was for some sort of firm hold styling. Basically what happened was, I used too much and too little at the same time. My hair ended up looking and feeling like blonde candyfloss.
Now, to me candyfloss is unpleasant stuff anyway. It sticks to my teeth, tastes like a heart attack and feels like eating a soft brillo pad. There is nothing about candyfloss that I like, so having it on my head all day was a pretty hideous experience.

So that's why I hate candyfloss. It's like eating an old woman's hair. Yuck.

I listened to the first 6 songs of the new Howling Bells album too. They're ok. Track 5 was fucking annoying tho, and track 2 totally rips off a riff from 'Mogwai Fear Satan'.

When we were closed, I also listened to about two-thirds of the new Grandmaster Flash album. It's a mixed bag. Some of the tracks are a bit dull, but some, track 9 in particular, are fucking awesome.

Sorry for lack of song titles. I'm too lazy at the moment to look them up.

This is the main reason I don't own a dog. I have such an aversion to shit, that I could not handle clearing up after one, and if you do have one it's kind of obligatory, or else you're just a total cunt.

Ooooooh, that would be uncomfortable.

Nothing.

"Where's B in the alphabet? Does it come before W?"

"It's ruined Radio 4, this economic climate."

"Scrimbletoff!"

"8 out of the 9 words closest to 'angina' are 'vagina'."